week 76: my team is not my family but...

business is not family but my family is my business

Oct 15, 2023

thank you to over 11,000 of you who read this weekly and share with your friends and family for behind the scenes on building a million dollar business from scratch and beyond.

i also include a personal note in the end so i am grateful that you let me do that without judgement.

running a business is hard not because building a business is hard.

what is hard in reality, is the people that create culture that can either make or break your business.

i happen to have a very high-performing team because everyone is extremely good at what they do.

i sometimes feel like an imposter when i am around my team because these are truly the best people i could work with, for the type of work we do.

but here’s something i share with my team and i know this is controversial.

we are running a business.

we want everyone to do the best work of their lives.

but this is not a family.

why is this important to note and may even be taken out of context.

here’s why.

in family:

you don’t let go of people
you don’t work for any gains
you don’t clock in or clock out

at work:

i don’t expect anyone to put work over family
i don’t expect anyone to make family decisions around work
i don’t expect anyone to prioritize their work over personal wellbeing

once this is clear, it has really liberated me to make business decisions more through the golden rule from the book of Matthew that says - “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.”

the Law and the Prophets - for those who are not Bible geeks - meant pretty much the entire old testament or in other words the entire Jewish Bible.

if you have not read the Bible, now you can summarize half of the book for someone with one sentence :) - how’s that for a trivia question?

the point is - instead of making work your family, i encourage my team to spend more time with their family and be even more intentional with them.

i share in my daily top 3 with the team something that is related to God, then family and then work (in that order).

the order is really important.

if God is first, family is second and team/work is third, i am certain that the work we do will not only be fulfilling but we also can truly do the best work of our lives and enjoy the fruits of it with the people we love.

otherwise, people seem to burnout, have unrealistic expectations from their leaders and fall into the trap of finding fulfillment ONLY through work (which is temporary) as opposed to a balanced perspective of life itself (which is eternal).

on a personal note, recently my daughter, Kiara, has been really into writing a book. well she is only 8 going 16, you know…

so she has this book with 10ish chapters and each chapter is a page.

it’s very intriguing as she came up with the outline first and then writing each chapter one by one.

yesterday, she actually shared her book write up with another author who has written 37 books.

she printed it and asked for his opinion.

i was just in awe and trilled to see her incredibly brave and unapologetic demeanor.

i wonder if she feels so secure in her ways that she truly believes in her work and as a result she is doing the best work of her life (she is only 8 but so it goes).

the point is, when you are purpose driven and focused, you are unapologetic about your work, your gifts, your talent, and most importantly, what you want to achieve in your life.

Kiara asked me recently -”Papa, when i am done writing this book, will it appear next to yours so people can see”.

well, that was enough to melt my heart so i plan to publish her book as and when she is done just so she knows there is no dream too big for her.

in family, this what you do - you believe in them first, and then support them second.

in teams, you have to earn the right to do either.

leader point: business is not your family but your family is your business.