week 99: bring your whole self to work but don’t make it all about yourself

whole self is not about yourself

thank you to over 11,000 of you who read this weekly and share with your friends and family for behind the scenes on building a million dollar business from scratch and beyond.

i also include a personal note in the end so i am grateful that you let me do that without judgement.

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we all have been on this bandwagon of bringing the whole self to work. 

well that’s great in theory but in practice it’s hard.

the concept of whole self to work can go too extreme. 

we can go overboard and make it all about yourself. 

there is a fine line between whole self and making it all of about yourself.

let me you a give examples.

here’s all about yourself experience looks like:

1. you only talk about your challenges and expect others to work around it

2. you care more about your goals over the business outcomes leading to decisions that could harm the team and business 

3. you expect everyone to work around your schedule and mood but rarely work the other way around 

4. you work on only the things that bring you joy and let the rest of the team pick up the slack for you 

now here’s an ideal whole self experience might look like:

1. you share your challenges openly and constantly work to seek help and counsel 

2. you set expectations if things are not going well at home and / or at work so team can support you and look for opportunities to do the same for your team mates

3. you put others first consistently by doing your job extremely well and asking for feedback to improve

4. you recognize that you can’t do only the things that bring you joy. you find joy in doing things you don’t like but simply needs to be done for the business

now, none of this is black and white or intentional.

most people don’t fit in one or the other category but we all do this.

i do this… and might i say, i am quite often the “all about myself” leader.

and i recognize i have a long way to go to become a servant leader.

so let’s imagine this:

if you and your entire team can take a moment and truly self inspect yourself, who do you think you have been lately?

take a moment before your read further and answer that question.

and now think, what can you do to bring your whole self to work without making it all about yourself.

what’s the one thing you can start doing or stop doing that will help you bring your whole self to work.

bcos you win and lose as a team. 

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on a personal note, i find myself extremely selfish at home. 

in reality, i feel that i make it all about myself.

given that we are still early building a company, i am swamped most days and have been pretty focused on work as my primary goal. 

while i have been better with evenings and weekends spending time with family, my work days are simply solid 10-12 hrs works.

so throughout the day, i get served by my wife who literally brings food to me in between calls and keep it on the side so i eat well.

sometimes, i don’t even acknowledge her when she is putting the food next to me because i am on the sales call and “trying” to focus.

if i can’t be humble and grateful at home, how can i do that at work?

it starts at home.

it starts with me.

and it starts with you. 

when Jesus washed the feet of his disciples, it was the clearest picture of servant leadership.

HE didn’t have to do it. but he did it anyway and that’s the point.

you don’t have to bring your whole self that requires compassion for others but when you do it anyway, you grow as a leader and as a person.

i can never be like Jesus but i can be a better husband and a father and hopefully a better team player.

Leader point: learn that art of bringing your whole self to work or at home but don’t make it all about yourself.